"Nothing of me is original..."

"...I am the combined effort of everybody I've ever known."

Said quote is from my favorite book, Invisible Monsters, by Chuck Palahniuk, and is completely relevant to my agitation today.

Yesterday, as I was waiting for Jersey Shore to start, my boyfriend and I started YouTubing "Sh*t (insert demographic here) Say" videos.  I watched video after video of stereotypical sorority girl, frat guy, girl, girlfriend, etc. sayings.

They were hilarious because they were extremely true, at least for me.  But I started this post discussing my agitation, which I will now explain by asking this simple question:

When did we become so unoriginal?

I mean, does anyone else get depressed at the thought that we've essentially become so predictable and generic that we can so easily be defined, like in these videos?

But this isn't the worst part.  I found these videos because of friends posting them on each other's Facebook walls, with accompanying statuses like "OMG HAHAHA THIS IS SO ME!!!"

So, we're predictable and generic, and we're proud of it?

http://beerbatteredramen.blogspot.com/

No, It's Not The ''Economy, Stupid''

Telling a recent grad that the economy is the reason they can't find a job is like this mom defending her daughter for wearing a Confederate flag shirt in school:  it's supporting a really stupid idea. 

Once upon a time, it was okay for recent grads to use the whole economy excuse, just like once upon a time it was okay for people to hang the Confederate flag outside of their homes. 

I know a few of you probably felt their heads fume a bit.  But if you don't believe me, let the International Business Times tell you that 95% of college graduates are employed.

But maybe it's not where they'd like to be employed.  And maybe it's ridiculously competitive for those trying to find a relevant, entry level position. 

In one entry-level marketing position, for instance, a total of 768 applicants submitted resumes, the majority of which with bachelor's degrees and two years of experience. 

I told you, ridiculously competitive.

So what sets you apart from the other 767 recent marketing grads?  Well, you tell me.

Say you're in my position, a marketing grad with only collegiate experience.  How am I going to convince someone that I can sell something else?

By selling myself. (No, not like that.)

You're essentially a brand.  Kim Kardashian is the epitome of this.  Homegirl has done absolutely nothing to gain her fame, but she's kept it by creating a brand of her name.

From stores to dieting pills to clothing lines, her name brings value to whatever she's selling.  This is how a human being works. 

We bring value to our name by what we represent; if we can convince the person on the other side of the laptop reading our resumes that we're the best thing since slice bread, then we've put value to an otherwise faceless, mundane, generic application.

This personal brand is something that carries with you.  My personal brand as an eccentric marketing apprentice is relevant to everything from the absurdity of my blog to the incredibly awesome marketing campaigns I've come up with.

So if you still want to blame the economy, use this as an opportunity to boost it by putting yourself out on the market and seeing how many people buy a colorful personality.

http://beerbatteredramen.blogspot.com/

Dear Mr. Paul

I'm not a Republican, or a huge fan of politics.  But I have to admit that this election is ridiculously interesting.

Take Ron Paul, for instance.

This guy has run in the past three presidential elections, first time now in the Republican party.  Ironically, where the Democrats dominated during Obama's campaign in 2008, Paul is now the frontrunner for voters under 30.

Oddly enough, it's been very difficult for him to engage voters over that demographic.  Why?

Because voters under 30 don't remember the Ron Paul who's name appeared on racist newsletters and was seen shaking hands with the Grand Wizard of the KKK.

Sure, it seemed like 353928334 years ago.  But people don't forget and these problems don't disappear.

Which reminds me of a magical word that I like to sprinkle into my vocabulary at work:  accountability.

In this amazing article I encountered this morning, Michael Medved of The Daily Beast makes the solution so simple, I was more amazed at the fact that Paul hadn't thought to do this.

So many times, especially when we're seen as underdogs whether at school or at work, we kind of elaborate why we may have done / not done something.  I mean, I'm definitely guilty of playing the "I'm just the intern" card at work or the "I didn't do it, ask Booger (my brother)" card at home.

And so many times, I've come to realize that if I would have just said "Whoops, my bad" instead, it may have resulted a bit more favorable than being seen in a negative light or have people jump to their own conclusions.  Taking the mea culpa looks way better than running circles around the inevitable consequence you're going to face.

Ron Paul is a 76 year-old man and he still doesn't get that point.  That's because this isn't something taught at school, kids.

http://beerbatteredramen.blogspot.com/

"Stay Classy, San Diego"

So if you're friends with me on LinkedIn, you'll find that I usually terrorize my connections on a daily basis with social media news.  I fell in love with social media marketing because of two reasons:  policing, and an awesome professor.

The policing part stems from my glory days as an executive board member on my beloved sorority.

Because of all the bad press associated with being a greek, we had to make sure that the ladies always kept a clean, classy, Disney-rated image - especially on social media sites.  I was always researching ways not just to improve our image, but promote our organization as well.

It wasn't until I got a big girl job and starting taking a social media class (again, thanks awesome professor) that I started realizing the scope of how important your online image is.

Sometimes, the Facebook hawk in me wants to just wring some girls' necks when I see them proudly boasting their beer bottles in provocative poses, or when their statuses consist of how ridiculously, black-out, I-want-to-hook-up-with-anything-that-moves, wah-why-isn't-the-world-paying-attention-to-me, I-just-puked-in-my-best-friend's-car drunk they got last weekend.

Especially with the new Facebook Timeline, it's so much easier to have this record digitally imprinted for the rest of your life, for the entire world to see...

Including future employers.

So ladies (and gents that find the need to discuss about their unrealistic dating "life" and how they spend 2093808402834 hours at the gym), make it a resolution this year to keep your private life private and clean up your act - at least on Facebook.

You can thank me with your first full-time paycheck.

http://beerbatteredramen.blogspot.com/

Hope You Survived Without Me!

Sorry about the hiatus, folks. Finals kicked in and as the saying goes, "All work and no play makes Dia a sleep-deprived, socially inept, cranky girl."

Which reminds me of my horrible time management skills.

But in my quest for survival (and for your entertainment), I remembered how an ex-boyfriend had an obsession with that book "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People" by Steven Covey.

Then at work, a coworker mentioned something about a workshop given annually based around this book (free planners included!).

This morning, a trending topic on my LinkedIn covered "7 Things Highly Productive People Do".

So I guess this was a sign that I should take a gander at what all the commotion with these 7 things were about.

I'm obsessed. I mean, it's so simple, it's almost stupid not to do it.

It's so easy to make up excuses as to why you can't get something done. God knows that if I had started writing papers and studying when I said I was going to start, I could have done everything in a whole day.

But the minute I turn my laptop on, hmm...
I wonder if anyone posted anything on Facebook.
Hey, this link is pretty funny.
I'm going to email it to my friend.
So many emails from LinkedIn, must check connection invites.
This status update is cool! Let me log into Twitter and retweet it...

I think you get the point. But my excuse isn't all the distracting sites, it's my attention span.

No more of those excuses. Not playing the ADD victim, the Facebook victim, the Twitter victim, the texting/calling/emailing victim anymore.

I mean, we all have budgets and diets to keep us sane and healthy. Can't we budget our time spent with all this noise?

It's not to say we don't need them, but let's put a numerical value to how much time this consumes even if we were on a "time budget" for these sites.

Let's say we spend 2 total hours a day on the computer and 1 total hour on (personal) phone calls and texts:

• That's 21 hours a week
• 1,092 hours a year
• Considering I'm 21, if the United Nations is correct in estimating I'll live to be 80.8 years old, that gives me roughly 60 years, which accumulates to 65,520 hours from today until I die
• Which means I will have spent 2,730 days or 7.48 years either on the computer or on the phone
• And that's on a budget.

Riddle me that.

http://beerbatteredramen.blogspot.com/

Financial Fitness

When I was 13 years old, my mom handed me a credit card.

I just knew that it had magical magnetic powers that let me have whatever my little soul desired. I didn't know how I can have whatever my little soul desired, but no one cared to tell me and I didn't care to ask.

On one occasion, I took all of my friends to McDonald's, courtesy of a swipe and a signature. Or so I thought.

Until one day, when I was 17, my parents noted every nickle and dime I put on that card, made me get a job at Hollister, and my magical days were over. It was like finding out Santa didn't exist all over again.

Even though the reality was there, the realization never came. My spending was still out of control; instead of paying bills, I was buying a ukelele that's still rotting underneath my bed somewhere.

Although, I must add that I am proud to be debt-free, apparently this isn't hip amongst women my age. Whether due it's brand loyalty or careless nights out, studies show that women age 18-27 think that having debt is actually cool.

So a few months ago, I got an email from my sorority offering a financial boot camp. For free.

I never say no to anything free!

I guess what my parents say is right: they can tell me to do something a million times, but I'll listen to the same thing if someone else tells me once. What took my parents years to get across to me took LearnVest one week to drill in my mind.

From its readable market analyses to its money tune-up and budgeting tools, LearnVest is the financial rehab for women (like me) that can't say no to their card.

What makes it so successful isn't the fact that it's telling you not to spend, it's telling you that you can spend and not be up to your head in debt. Just today, I signed up to OpenSky and got a $15 credit as a LearnVest subscriber!

With perks like these and a peace of mind, how could you say no?

http://beerbatteredramen.blogspot.com/

Trichotillo-what?!

When dealing with stress, I find that I have coping mechanisms similar to the ones people use when dealing with death. Except I'm perpetually stuck in the "denial" stage.

So instead of dealing with things that stress me out, I kinda just close my eyes, tap my ruby shoes three times, and hope that I wake up in Kansas again. Which never works and essentially leads to other ridiculous habits, like cracking my jaw or incessantly playing with my hair.

I hadn't thought much about it, even when I noticed that my hair slightly starting thinning in one particular spot. I figured it was just the stress, so I put in a deep conditioner and soon enough it was back to normal.

Then today, I find this article on my newsfeed.

I don't believe it ever got to this extreme, but with midterm season here, it's definitely a must-read.

Stress management is probably as important as time management, especially for those (like me) that have no sense of the latter. 18 credits, an internship, work, living with my parents, a relationship, and friends to make time for is incredibly difficult.

...

I'll let you know how this story ends, hopefully there's a lesson to be learned here soon.

http://beerbatteredramen.blogspot.com/